Until I lost my Mom last year, I just never really had a clue HOW many people are so messed up in middle age (I guess that’s what I am now, right?) because of losing one or more of their parents! It’s like I’m part of this club I never pledged into – all of those sad, poignant social media picture quote posts, etc – they all speak to me now and I get it. So many people trying to go about their lives, adult and all grown up and yet crushed and pummeled by the loss of a parent.
I mean, I think the thing of it is, I don’t think anyone can really GET how it feels or REALLY appreciate their parents in a way that’s suitable until they’re gone. You can say you do and will, and things that hit close to home can certainly make you take an even closer look and appreciate what you have and all that – but still at the end of the day, you just expect YOUR own parent will be there tomorrow. And the next day. And the next. And I don’t think many of us ever really and truly think about what it’ll be like when they’re gone – because how can we imagine that?
I do try to take the lesson of my Mom and apply it to the rest of my family, and make vows to always appreciate every day and cherish it, even the sucky ones, and not to get caught up in the stupid little things that don’t matter, when in the big scheme they definitely don’t – but either I’m just not that big of a person or it’s just human nature. And I’m disappointingly human? But while I definitely DO appreciate and love my husband, my kids, etc – I still feel like if I were to lose any of them tomorrow heaven forbid, I’d feel that same sense of “shoulda coulda woulda” that I feel with my Mom. Sappy Facebook song lyric Maya Angelo quotes or not. :/