Is it an internet thing or maybe it’s just a human condition thing? People want to distill every issue down to a meme-worthy sentence or platitude. A mantra – and it’s usually giving very cut and dry black and white advice.
Like the healthy thing – you’ll see all the time when someone shares that they want to get healthier and/or lose weight, and their friends all inevitably chime in: “you’re perfect just the way you are”, “beauty is more than skin deep”, “you’re just listening to society’s unrealistic expectations of beauty”, etc etc. The intent is usually positive – to make the person feel better about themselves as a person, but I think many times they’re doing a great disservice to the person they’re trying to help.
Like there is something wrong with trying to make healthier choices? To want to make improvements, to try to live longer and have more time on this earth with people you love? These meme-worthy sayings minimize that and just tell the person it doesn’t really matter. Heck, sometimes and make them maybe even feel superficial for trying to make a change and that it’s a BAD and conceited idea!
Another example that comes to mind is when someone is having relationship issues. I come across “memes” (although that’s not really the right word for the cutesy pictures with inspirational words on them that convey life lessons in 200 characters or less with an emotionally-stirring image)… Anyway, I see ones where people say you can’t force things, and you need to give people space and not be too clingy. If it was meant to be, they’ll come back, etc. Love will overcome all odds. But then you also see quote posts where they say you need to FIGHT for what’s important to you etc. That good things don’t come easy. and people have to choose to push through the hard times and not just walk away. That a happy and successful relationship is a choice you make. Completely opposite advice. So which is it? On their face, both make a kind of sense, but neither are one-size-fits-all, although I’m sure lots of people see one or the other, nods their heads to themselves, and move forward accordingly, based on a pretty picture with nice graphics.
Another part of a love and relationship set of opposites is the adage that “absence makes the heart grow fonder”. This sort of goes along the lines of letting them go free and if they’re yours, they’ll come back. The opposite advice you’ll also see quotes on is, “out of sight, out of mind”. Which is also true at times and lends itself to the fighting for your partner advice. Both of which have their time and place and hint of truth, actually. But neither of which are near as universal as they sound in that sound bite.
The problem is when people create these over-simplifications, it makes them seem universal…even the completely opposing viewpoints, neither of which are WRONG in certain situations, but neither of which are right in all settings, either.
In general, for most every piece of well-meaning advice, there will be an equal and opposite piece of advice, with some wise sage offering it up as THE universal truth. It’s mostly a matter of who wraps it up in a prettier bow on social media, I reckon.
How about when you’re unsatisfied with how something is working, whether it’s at work, in the community or elsewhere? You want to make a change! Is “the squeaky wheel gets the grease” the way to approach it, or is it “the tall nail gets the hammer”? They’re definitely two diametrically opposite ways of looking at trying to affect change, for sure. But mutually exclusive, as well.
And while we’re talking about relationships and types of people, which is it? Do birds of a feather REALLY flock together, or do opposites attract? Or is it really that different people gel and connect for different reasons, and it’s not as simple as those old maxims.
Well, this post is starting to get a Seinfeld rant kind of feel to it, so I think that’s my cue to sign off for now. But next time you find yourself nodding your head at some enlightened advice displayed in a pretty font with a nice background on social media (perhaps even a “video” with touching background music and flowers blowing in the gentle breeze?) – think of what the opposite of that advice is and search, and I bet you’ll find a version of that, too.
At the end of the day, you do you. Because, ya know, “If you don’t fit in, then you’re probably doing the right thing.”
Or, you’re a psychopath. One or the other.